CRADLE OF FEAR
DVD Region 0. Film 2000

After all the hype, this cheapo slice of Brit horror finally sees release - not theatrically of course, but straight onto DVD. The presence of Cradle of Filth mainman Dani in a leading role has assured that Cradle of Fear has been given more attention than a shot-on-DV movie could otherwise expect, and suggestions from the producers that the film would either be banned or heavily cut for UK release certainly ensured maximum publicity. Of course, those of us who knew anything about film censorship scoffed at such claims, and sure enough, the movie sailed through the offices of the BBFC without even raising an eyebrow.

So, what do we have? Well, not much. A couple of hours of mild sex and fairly graphic violence, the latter being made less effective that it might have been thanks to some truly poor special effects. Basically four short stories, the film is framed by Dani Filth wandering around looking sinister (making it a pity he can't wipe the inane grin from his face) and offing the odd person, whilst his asylum-incarcerated dad howls at the moon and participates in some shameless Silence of the Lambs imitation.

The stories themselves are much of a muchness - goth chick Emily Bouffante cops off with Dani and later gives birth to a plastic monster; a couple of skanky girls kill an 'old' man during a robbery who won't stay dead; an amputee kills someone and steals their leg but then finds it has a life of its own; and in a blatant Videodrome rip, an ISP staffer becomes obsessed with a snuff site - you can all guess how that one ends...

Cradle of Fear's main problem is that it often feels like an overblown home movie. The editing is particularly sloppy, and performances are best described as 'variable'. It might be unfair to blame certain cast members for poor delivery of dialogue though, given how bad the lines they have to spout are. Edmund Dehn as the detective seems particularly ill-served here, having little to do but contort his face and shout "bollocks" a lot in an effort to seem hard-bitten and cynical.

On the plus side - Emily Bouffante makes a very agreeable rock slut and looks good naked; the 'snuff' story has a few neat twists on the way to the predictable conclusion, and offers the only genuinely intense violence of the movie; and this may well be your only chance to see Salvation Films' legendary Scream Queen Eileen Daly licking an amputee's stump. And although each story could have stood losing a good five minutes at least, the film has enough bare flesh and crude gore to avoid ever becoming dull. But director Alex Chandon seemed to have moved on from amateur-hour gorefests with his last film Pervirella, and this seems a backward step.

DAVID FLINT

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