ALICE IN FUNDALAND 1 - 3
DVD region 0. Doll Theatre / Hot Rod.

This three part epic from new label Doll Theatre tells the somewhat convoluted story of Alice (Jo May) who moves to the town of Fundaland from 'Up North', where she spends a considerable amount of time bathing (there are no less than four bath and shower scenes in the series!) and diddling herself with assorted dildos, as well as enjoying torrid lesbian threeways with her neighbours after eating 'fun cake'. However, all is not well in Fundaland - it seems that in 1694, evil Eleanor Nightshade (Vicki Holloway) was caught violating a couple of nuns and banished to some sort of Netherworld (yes, they were tough on crime and tough on the causes of crime back then). She can only return to Earth if invited, and so uses her magical powers to trick Alice into doing so. Oh, and then there are the agents of the Nanny State too...

I'm not a huge fan of girl/girl movies by and large, but this is a decent effort for the genre. The sex scenes come thick and fast, and are nicely varied in style: we go from pastoral outdoor anal dildo fucking to dungeon antics with nuns and chained women - the best scene in the trilogy for me, you'll be unsurprised to hear. There is also a nicely effective, almost softcore spot of tease and (verbal) fem-dom at the end of part one, as the wicked Eleanor and her slavegirl drool over the sleeping Alice.

It has to be said that - strictly in terms of story - part three is a fairly pointless exercise and seems padded - it's over 45 minutes before the actual plot kicks in. Like Private, Doll Theatre seem intent on stretching the story beyond breaking point, and if we are to be honest this story could've been told in the two hours plus of the first two volumes. But for those of you looking for wall-to-wall lesbian action, this might be the most satisfactory of the series, as it certainly delivers the goods.

As for performances - well, inevitably they are variable. Jo May is competent at delivering lines, fucks with unabashed enthusiasm and certainly has a great body. Her hair is odd though. I assume she's wearing a wig, and looks better during her brief appearance as a dark haired temptress in part three than she does as a blonde. The supporting cast are hopeless at acting - their dialogue scenes are pretty cringeworthy to be honest - but they deliver the goods in the sex scenes. But for me, the series belongs to Vicki Holloway, who manages to be effectively dominant despite being small and blonde, moves with a genuine sensuality and actually seems to have some acting ability. After watching her abusing two nuns here (and an aside: did they really use purple rubber double dildos in 1694??), I'd love to see her in something more deliberately fetishistic.

The films themselves are efficiently made and if the humour isn't exactly side-splitting, it might make you smile from time to time. I'm hoping that some of the most appallingly cliched porno dialogue is deliberately ironic!

Part one comes with a softcore striptease extra by Jo King, while part two has the same from Vicki Holloway. Part three has no extras worth speaking of. Although the sleeves claim the inclusion of trailers, none are on the discs unless you count stills of the sleeves... which I don't.

Alice in Fundaland might not set the porno world alight, but it's good to see British hardcore making an effort, and I look forward to checking out future Doll Theatre productions.

DAVID FLINT